April 25-May 1. Soup Kitchen and Democrat Projects

 

Saturday April 25

Still wrestling with GoFundMe, trying to take the Episcopal Church Treasurer's name off as the beneficiary. Finally gave up.  

 

We met Liz and her old friend Bill Strohmeier at the Lake Taghanic State Park. It was a beautiful day and there was a nice easy path along the lake where I was able to hobble a mile. Willie was happily surprised to find Bill, an actual smart funny practicing Catholic. Liz and Geoff have known Bill and his wife Ann since the seventies or earlier. They have lived in the city for fifty years and now they, too, have emigrated to our County, Bill with more enthusiasm than Ann. Other people were in the park sitting in the sun but at safe distances from each other.  It was nice to see human faces.

 

Cooked a small round roast for dinner and then we watched the Liz Taylor- Richard Burton much maligned and scandal laden Cleopatra. First two hours were focused on Rex Harrison's Caesar, which is pretty great. Watching the last part tomorrow, when Richard Burton and Liz Taylor's Great Romance was born.  

 

Sunday April 26

I bought the electric pulse massager at Jill’s recommendation and am now hooked up to it, with my shoulders being rapped and buzzed for 80 minutes. Michael glued sticky pads to my shoulders that are attached to wires plugged into a handheld remote. A brochure showed an exotic acupuncture body map with hundreds of spots on various parts coded to the problems associated with them. Or you could just hit “shoulders” on the remote, which I did.  It was very thumpy.

 

I spent most of the day doing grocery lists, making fruit compote, and cooking stock, and white beans for tonight's soup. Low on food and have to brave grocery store tomorrow.

 

Watched St Patrick’s mass with ADHD Cardinal Dolan, whose beanie kept slipping. Good homily but they compensated for lack of huge congregation with a baritone blasting chants to close to the mic. 

 

The soup, with beans and sausage, was good. 

 

Watched last two hours of Cleopatra. Unlike part one, the second half was endless, with a sloppy, weepy Richard Burton playing a drunk Mark Anthony. Very happy when he and his bride ended it all.  Yuck! 

 

Monday April 27

Absolutely stupid morning. Did talk to Sarah for about an hour. She’s on medical leave, has a shrink who wants her to write a diary from the perspective of her angry inner child. To do this, Sarah has to peel off her angry outer child. I suggested she just write her daily routine, like I'm doing, and see what emerges.  Although, I'm not sure if what I'm doing here serves any inner purpose. The point at the beginning was to stay focused on the present, given my uncertain future.  But the present is coughing up many insights, just a lot of recipes. 

 

Almost out of basic foods. Michael and I had an argument about who would do the grocery shopping. He doesn’t want me to go into the store but we share the same risks, and because I need to stock up I thought we should both go in and reduce the time we spend inside. Fortunately I found that I could buy groceries from ShopRite online and pick them up tonight. Still had eggs and tortillas so I made scrambled egg and green chili tacos for lunch.

 

Roasted a pork loin with a marinade made from a weird natural cola syrup that Willie had bought. It was disgusting to drink in seltzer, but made a great glaze for the pork.

 

Picked up groceries at eight. Many ingredients were missing but most of the necessary ones were there.

 

Watched John Oliver and a Larry Sanders.

 

Tuesday April 28

Woke up at seven obsessed with the missing grocery items, so I drove to Hannaford, arriving at the end of the senior hour. The parking lot was still pretty full but, in the store few customers were in the aisles, and I was only one in line when I checked out.  The staff was also restocking for the rest of the day and I got everything I wanted, including clementines, Bounty paper towels, and Hagen das dolce de leche ice cream for Willie (and me!).

 

Walked down to the pond where the young frogs were in full harmony. At home, I put together red chili sauce and roast peppers and tomatoes. Now waiting for my chicken and looking out at the evening spring meadow. 

 

I have loved my life, unfortunately including my mistakes and failures. I adore my kids, but I’ve been a totally ladeda mother. It has certainly hurt Jill.  Not sure of the effect on my sons.  The upside is that they are all kind, smart, funny, tough adults.  

 

Watched Better Call Saul and Stephen Colbert, but I’m tired of streaming. Feel like reading.

 

Wednesday April 29

Richard-ex sent me a book about Winston Churchill during the Blitz: Erik Larson’s The Splendid and the Vile. Also Dorothy Day's autobiography arrived, which I had ordered, and Stephen King's On Writing was mysteriously delivered. No sender attribution. Many bathtub books! 

 

At noon I phoned into the Columbia County Democrat Committee officer's call, which I previously usually skipped because the calls were at 10 on Wednesday. Since they've been rescheduled for noon, I have no excuse except that, as secretary, I have no real active role as an officer except for note taking. The call was mostly about the canceled primary, which is causing all kinds of grief among the Bernie supporters. And I think is was a stupid move by the Biden Centrist Democrats, because it will alienate a bunch of progressives. This is a very problematic election anyway.  Most of us who normally work as polling inspectors are old and/or have conditions that the virus loves to accentuate, so when the BOE sent out a survey to former inspectors asking who would be working at the polls this year, no one was. 

 

Worked again on food lists.  Checked the GoFundMe campaign: $8500 so far. I was sent a message off the site from a woman who represented the non-profit that had given the Army a $15,000 grant.  She suggested that the Recovery Kitchen apply for the same amount. I forwarded it to Carole Clark, the RK organizer, along with the grant application that I had edited for Darcy. I keep suggesting that Carole contact Darcy, but she doesn’t. I suspect control issues. 

 

Made a sauce for chicken thighs tonight by mixing flour with dried sumac, Zataar (thyme), smoked paprika, cumin, and turmeric. Dredged the chicken in it, fried the thighs, and took them out of the pan. Sautéed onions and preserved lemon, added rest of flour, the stock, red chili sauce, and Willie's weird cola. Put chicken back in and cooked till it was done. Great. 

 

Eavesdropped on one of Willie's odd phone calls with a former seminarian or a person from one of the parishes where he had been stationed. Couldn't tell who it was.  In these phone calls, he advises, teases, provides relevant Catholic doctrine, refers to Dante or Aquinas, imitates the accents and quotes local religious eccentrics, and, in general, provides spiritual guidance with a gusty humor that his father used to promote WASPy behavior. Amazing gift.  

 

No streaming tonight. We’re all burned out on it. Reading books. I’m doing a Carl Hiaasen (although electronic – on my Kindle),

 

Thursday April 30

Worked on research for the virus this morning for presentation at the Executive Committee meeting tonight. Covid virus could still be ticking up in our county but we haven’t been testing much. Only13 deaths.  

 

Wrote interview questions for the two chefs who are cooking for the Recovery Kitchen.  Got a nice response from Jaime, enough to start the press release I'm writing for it. 

 

Both projects kept me busy into late afternoon when Willie and I did some gaming on our good adventure Life is Strange. 

Ordered pizza from Baba Louis before virtual Exec Committee meeting. It went OK until the end. We covered how we would or wouldn't deal with the progressive anger over the canceled primary. I gave current statistics on the virus and Sarah described how the county government was handing it. Then Pam Kline gave a presentation on the Recovery Kitchen. I followed with praise for her and Carole and the chefs. Then I gave a plug for the Salvation Army ("Don't forget them. They've been handing out lunches for years and the demand is increasing"). Brenda Gevertz our new second vice chair, then pulled out the old accusations against the Army for being anti-Semitic and homophobic. Attacking my beloved army is like going after a kid. "That's crap."  Maybe not entirely diplomatic or convincing. 

 

 After the meeting I wrote a very measured email to her (without any scatological references), providing her with Army policy statements on tolerance and stressing that our local center was independent, that the staff and volunteers had no religious affiliation with the national organization, and I had never seen any evidence of intolerance at all.  On the contrary, these were the best people I had every worked with. She responded by accusing me of homophobia and anti-Semitism, quoted the army mission statement of following Jesus evangelically, and finished by saying how this hurt Muslims and Jews. Somehow, not only Muslims and Jews, but also her brother had been damaged by their policy, although she didn't provide any details.  I then sent what I consider a very calm response to her nonsequitor, and watched Stephen Colbert and Larry Sanders to quiet down the agitation and stop the grrrr sound coming out of my mouth. 

 

Friday May 1

Woke up at three in the morning to draft the article for the Recovery Kitchen.  Spent the early part of the day completing it and sent it out to Pam, Carole, and the two chefs for review.  Bizarrely I had referred to Carole Clark, the founder of this amazing venture, as Carole Edwards, in my post midnight draft. I have no idea where “Edwards” came from.  Certainly not from autocorrect.  Very bizarre. 

 

Also worked on Food Pantry list updates for Food Pantries.  Enjoying this work.  

 

Watched a Tai Chi sitting video that I accidentally tapped into.  Very soothing. Sent the link to Jill, who responded with an underlying email irritation that she had sent me a sitting Tai chi link before.  Sigh. 

 

Supervised Willie's cauliflower Parmesan, which turned out to be really tasty.  

 

Watched the Heist at night.  Michael and I engaged but Will doesn’t want to watch more of it.  I’ve got three books going: Eric Larson’s Splendid and Vile (hardback from Richard), Dorothy Day’s autobiography (paperback for bathtub), and the next Cadfael mystery (Kindle in bed).  

 

I wish I’d get a hear from the radiation department to get started with the next round of treatments. Getting nervous. 

 

April 18-24. My Birthday and Pet Scan

Birthday Saturday April 18 

 Snowed all night! First snow birthday ever and it was a surprisingly good one. Went through Facebook birthday wishes, which I know are lazy ways to celebrate, but today's include Kani Xulam’s one in Kurdish, and it's such a cheap thrill to have so many people you’ve been fond of throughout your life sending you links to music and kind thoughts. 

 

Completed my list of restaurants outside Hudson in the morning and posted it. Took much longer than I thought. 

 

Had roast pork sandwiches for lunch. 

 

Willie has had an ear infection for a month, which hoped would clear by itself so he won’t have to go to the doctor, but it has gotten worse, and Michael took him to urgent care, and I made a lemon olive oil cake (favorite) for my birthday while they were gone. Willie came back with antibiotics, but the doctor prescribed them as if he had an acute ear infection and not the chronic type that afflicted him as a kid and is related to his Kartagener.  

 

Lee had set up a mass Zoom call at three with Patty, Dominique, Devon, Jim, Ginny, Wendy and Allen. It was hilarious. Everyone talked over everyone else. Because I was to choose whatever movie we were streaming that night, I asked for suggestions for the best comedy ever. We are in political agreement as a family but diverge widely on what we think is funny. All were recommendations were pretty awful, with the worst being Jim's: Bubba Ho-Tep, a comedy horror movie set in a nursing home, with JFK and Elvis being the protagonists. (I looked it up as I edited this some months later, and it actually got some ok reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic. Still..I'll pass). 

 

At five we had Zoom cocktail hour with Harris and Neville, which actually did last an hour.  Perfect.

 

While Willie and I made meatloaf, he played Sam Cook's amazing live concert album From Harlem Square. It's a spiritual experience.

 

Meatloaf, roasted potatoes and spinach and olive oil cake: perfect comfort birthday food. 

 

Because I had set an impossible bar for movie screening I chose a film for which I had very lot expectations: Guy Richie’s Sherlock with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Ridiculous and perfect comfort movie. I loved my birthday.

 

Sunday April 19

Back to ordinary. Went back and forth with Pam Kline over setting up a Go Fund Me site for the new food distribution program she and Carole Clarke are organizing. 

 

Did some gaming with Willie. Poked in the garden but very stiff today. 

 

We ordered pizza from Baba Louis and watched seven up.

 

Monday April 20

Pet scan this morning. Michael's wait in the car in the hospital parking lot was long-- almost two hours. I had to sit for about an hour in the "hot room", which is very pleasant and intended to speed my metabolism, so that the tumors will become more visible. They inject me with contrast and send me to the scanning room. The actual ride in the tube is about twenty minutes under a warm blanket. The whole thing would by very pleasant if the consequences weren’t so dire. I have to wait till Wednesday for the results. 

 

Very stiff today. Probably stress. Home to leftover pizza.

 

 I drafted a press release for Pam and Carole Clark on their project, now called the Columbia County Recovery Kitchen, and began the write up for GoFundMe, but I'm not hopeful about its launch.  It's a very complicated concept for cooking and delivering meals with no internal structure, relying on a couple professional chefs and a web connected to several non-profit organizations.

 

A little bit of gaming on the afternoon. 

 

Made enchiladas for dinner and we finished Seven Up, which was very haunting. They have made on more episode, where they reach 63, but it's not available for streaming yet. One subject has died, but all seem to have had pretty fundamentally happy lives.  

 

I’m nervous about the scan results. I’ve lived with the cancer for two years now and the virus is another add on.  I try to constantly prepare myself for death but it's never real, and maybe that’s the point. With Cindy has my model, my hope is that when it comes it will be simply another exhale. I do worry about the lead up though. Will my mind be overwhelmed by physical pain? If I catch Covid, will I be alone?  Stupid to even worry. 

 

Tuesday April 21

Finished the GoFundMe entry for the Recovery Kitchen. Jamie Parry and John Carr, the two out of work chefs will be doing the cooking. Pam is organizing volunteers from different towns to drive the food to families, whose names they’ve collected from the school districts, the department of social services, the Sanctuary movement, and other groups. The plan is deliver dinners three days a week. The Presbyterian Church is handling donations and invoices. 

 

I'm hoping it will work, but it has at least two major problems. Jamie had been volunteering at the Army and unhappy about the quality of the supermarket donations (e.g., Wal-Mart's tube of pink sludge that passes for ground beef). So, his idea for the Recovery Kitchen is to purchase healthy ingredients from wholesalers. Unfortunately the amount of money they're starting with won't see them through the end of May. And second, although they are launching Friday, they don’t have a kitchen.  Not auspicious.

 

Made pea soup and corn bread for dinner and watched Emma. 

It is three in the morning. I’m very pessimistic about my scan results. I’ve been so lucky so far. Sometimes I feel I should used diary for profound thoughts but the profundity ends up being a pile of clichés. Any intimations of God are fleeting and nonverbal. Frequently however, if I am present, I get a strong positive current passing through me that laughs. I’m hoping it will be there for me when things get rough.

 

Wednesday April 22

Mixed bag results from the scan. The area in my chest that was radiated this winter is clear and the immunotherapy has gotten rid of all the liver lumps. Unfortunately, I have two new small tumors near my esophagus and the liver portal vein.  Fortunately they can still be radiated and I can stay on the immunotherapy, at least until the next scan at the end of August. 

 

Made spaghetti.  

 

Thursday April 23

Worked on the endless food lists. Weather is lousy and I'm feeling dumpy. 

 

Drove to the Army to pick up Notecards, for writing hand-written thank you notes to donors, forging Darcy's signature. Darcy and Ria were there. I also met Jaimie and John, who are still cooking lunches for the Army. Very pleasant guys and the difference between professional chefs and volunteers, like Faye and me, became clear.  Today they shoveled out 70 lunches to be bagged and picked up (no dining in anymore of course). If I had to make that many I'd be down for weeks afterward. 

 

Went to the meat automat at the top end of Hudson. Picked up beef and pork. No chicken. No chicken anywhere.

 

 Bad arthritis today. Jill has suggested that I get a device that emits electromagnetic waves, which she says is helpful for her. I read small mixed studies about it. Not sure it’s anything other than a placebo, but it’s not expensive, so I’m getting it. 

 

Ordered food from a new Mexican restaurant. Ok. 

 

Didn’t have much interest in watching anything but ended up streaming Stephen Colbert, who was funny and relaxing. 

 

Friday April 24

Getting my infusion. Every once in awhile the loudspeaker plays a musical phrase— Brahms lullaby when a baby is born and the Rocky Theme music when a Covid patient is released. One of the nurses smuggled me a mask.  

 

Talked to Liz this afternoon.  I described my non-oath to consider conversion if my tumors were cleared with the last scan, considering all the prayers from Willie and the his priest friends, and from Ginny and the nuns, who are appealing to their favorite saint candidate (whose name I forget) for his intercession.  If I'm cured, it might count as a miracle and boost the efforts for his canonization.  So, the old tumors cleared but two new ones popped up.  So where does that leave the potential saint and me?  Liz advised in her quiet, measured way to let things settle. 

 

Wrestled with GoFundMe to make some corrections that seem to be hardwired into the software. Watched a Miss Marple in the afternoon and then heated up lasagna for dinner.  

 

We all struggled through as much of Shaw’s 1945 Cesar and Cleopatra as we could. Stagey and unwatchable. Finished the night with Stephen Colbert interviewing Bill Gates.  Much better. 

 

April 11-17 Easter, Masks, Recovery Kitchen Idea

Saturday April 11

Did some feeble gardening, pruning out some mint rubbish. 

 

Talked to a woman, Carole Clark, who wants to form an organization with people who want to cook hot meals and deliver them to immigrants.  She needs a legal structure, however, to provide liability insurance and called me for my advice (not sure why). I asked why she didn’t just set up a non profit but someone has led her to believe it would a long time and would be expensive. I told her I didn’t think that was true asked if she had looked online.  She hasn't. I suggested she talk to Jill Wishon and Darcy. A number of differently groups had cooked dinner at the Army at night and didn't need a legal structure. As it happens Jamie Parry, the chef from Swoon—one of the high-end Hudson restaurant, is interested in cooking for this enterprise. Swoon is closed during the pandemic and he's actually now cooking lunch at the Army. Darcy said he was a diva and wouldn’t wash dishes. He told Carole that he wanted to cook with “good” food (as opposed to the Army's random donations that are rarely organic).  I'm not sure how they are going to collect enough “good” food to produce all the meals they are going to need. 

 

Talked to Erin about the altercations with Claire but I don't want to do anything about them. I don’t want to upset her. She seems so brittle and fragile. 

 

Watched the Pope stream his Easter vigil. Then Willie did a masterful job with the mandolin slicing sweet potatoes, which we roasted. Made kale and fried ham steaks with apples and onions. 

 

Watched Seven-Up, The subjects are now 28, and have found their English niches. 

 

Easter Sunday April 12

Willie and I started the pot roast in the slow cooker. I slightly reprimanded him on his carrot cuts. (Yesterday, by comparison, he was brilliant on the mandolin, a device they I’m useless with.)  

 

Watched Bishop Baron’s Easter Mass, a good homily on the historical Christ, a singularity that I can’t get past. 

 

Talked to Jeremy on FaceTime. Has an excellent beard that transforms his whole persona.  I hope he keeps it but he says he won't.  Also FaceTime with Geoff, Kim, and crew.  All are in high spirits. Kim said this was the life she had always dreamed of. I know what she means!  The boys are doing musical compositoins and computing. Kim said there’s music constantly in the house.  Nathaniel has started learning the guitar and within a week taught himself a piece by his favorite artist.  Everyone looks cute.  

 

Talked to Liz who told me that local distilleries are making hand sanitizers, which I can't get at the local supermarkes.

 

I took a walk up and down the driveway, spotting the new wild chives. It was difficult. I keep imagining that I’m more able than I am.  

 

Will and I gamed for a while in the afternoon.  

 

Now for a corona virus Easter miracle: I had wanted to get Willie chocolate from our Vasilow, our local chocolatier, which its website said had a pickup service and a box of truffles. When I tried to order online, however, they only provided shipping options. I left a message and got a messages in return saying I could pick the truffles up before five. Unfortunately I saw the text at about 5:10 and replied that I realized it was too late. Then John Vasilow called, apologetic and anxious to get me the truffles. He first offered to go back to the store where I could pick them up, but then said he'd drop them off at our house on Easter. I insisted that he not go to the trouble, but he said, “We'll be driving around anyway.” He dropped them off and they were delicious!  Love the local businesses! Hope they get through this mess. 

 

 Monday April 13

An amazingly nothing Day.  Fiddled with my lists, watched Cuomo press conference, made eggs for lunch while the skies poured down. Didn’t even cook dinner. Used leftovers. The quarantine’s forced routines may be turning into a leaden experience. Watched Better Call Saul

 

Tuesday April 14

More lists, still more to do.  I'm creating separate lists for food pantries, lunch and dinner restaurants in Hudson and in Columbia County, as well as  grocery stores where you can pick up food.  

 

Cats are chasing down a mouse in the kitchen and suddenly ran turned me and disappeared. I realize it must have run up by pants.  I was so small I couldn't feel it but I dropped trow and it ran out. Eventually Michael rescued if from the terrifle cats and put out outside.  

 

Got out to the flower garden today, where I used my new Fiscar to leverage out some weeds and daisies. Hooray! Hope to do a lot of pruning of the old dead flower stalks.  Very gratifying. Nice day. Sunny and not too hot.

 

Dana, who owns Relish, makes dinner on Tuesday nights so we picked it up. Chicken, asparagus and roast potatoes. And her wonderful lemon mousse. 

 

Watched more Seven Up.

 

Wednesday April 15

More lists.  

 

CCDC Officer meeting at noon. It's been at 10:00 up till now so I typically miss it but have no excuse now. Brenda Gevertz, our new vice chair, suggested that CCDC members get together in cars and drive past the hospital and honk in tribute to their work with corona patients. I said what about people who work in supermarkets. She said if you want to go honk by yourself you could do that. This honking business seems a bit pretentious and I can’t imagine these nurses and doctors want us honking at them while they are trying to intubate dying patients. 

 

We met Liz at Won Darma to take a walk on their trails but it was closed so we went over to Harrier Hill instead, a nearby park which has a path that leads up a gentle slope to the hill over looking the Hudson. Cuomo now mandates masks in public places, and Liz had made me one from John Deere fabric for my birthday, which was great . The day was cold and we rushed up the hillc stood around a bitc and walked back. 

 

When we got home I decided to try sewing a mask myself. I used an old pillow case and took elastic from the band of an aged pair of Victoria Secret underwear.  I hand sewed the mask using a pattern I found online that was claimed to be incredibly easy.  The stiches that looked like Quasimodo had gotten drunk and decided to learn to sew. The elastic bands are uneven. It's horrid.   (Just got up in the middle of the night to see if I could salvage it. Maybe). 

 

Chloe, the lovely young woman who cooked for awhile at the Army, called and told me that Faye’s two sisters and her sister in-law died from the virus all within two days. Her sisters are in a nursing home and one was very frail, with an amputated leg. But the other sister was in the assisted living section wand was ok. I called Faye, who is quarantining alone, and added my useless sympathy to those of her family and friends. Just unbelievably wrenching. 

 

Thursday April 16

Back to ordinary/unordinary today.  Worked on lists again.  One restaurant closed completely.  I emailed Darcy and Richard Wallace about Faye’s sisters and they hadn’t heard about them.  

 

Richard called.  He said he hadn’t gone on the hike with Liz because he was at St. Mary’s lighting candle to St. Joseph, whose statue he had buried upside down in the back yard of his house in Long Island, which is supposed to hasten the sale of the house.  And it did! A potential owner is offering cash within the Richard’s price range.  Once the house closes, Richard must go back to the house, dig up St. Joe, and put him in a place of honor in his own apartment. 

 

Willie and I did a lot of gaming in the afternoon.  

 

Ordered food from Ca Mea, good restaurant food with their wonderful bread still warm. 

 

Bought Spinoza’s Ethics online, which arrived today.  Unreadable. Oh well.

 

Watched 7 Up, the subjects are now 49 and all seem pretty ok.  

 

Friday April 17

Cold but sunny day today.  Someone sent me a very pretty scarf  Don’t know who  (It was Jill)

 

Willie gave me a mandolin, which came as a pre birthday present and has already been used successfully (by WIllie).

 

Dug around the garden ineffectually using the Fiscar to pry up creeping Charlie. Liz came by with two masks for Willie and Michael, donning one herself. Stuart called with an early birthday greeting. Made more lists (so tired of them) and did some gaming. 

 

Willie and I made a Vietnamese caramel chicken, first time trying caramel for both of us. Very exciting. Now I want to do caramel all the time. Watched Jeeves and Wooster which I liked more than Willie and Michael did,

 

April 4-10. Making Food Lists and Good Friday

Saturday April 4

A fairly nice day today, warm in the sun. I cleared out some stalk and old vegetable rubbish cleaning in the garden, which is a minor triumph. Then I walked down to the pone, which is showing signs of life I think. 

 

Jeremy phoned in his daily report. Today, unfortunately, the told that he’s overdrawn his bank account by some hundreds of dollars. So we went over his statement. It seems like he's been hacked, but he’s going to have to call his mother to check the statement in person, always a tricky thing.

 

Talked to Janice Brodowski who has volunteered her nursing skills. God I love nurses. Although lifelong Democrat, she was weirdly defending Trump and going after Cuomo, who is not loved upstate.

 

Finished researching Sina Baum, the uncle of Carol's friend.  Found as much as I could.   

 

Willie roasted a successful chicken. Too late for a movie. Michael dosed through and I watched the last Maisel episode

 

Sunday April 5

Talked too long with Jim  Dolan, who pushes my Anti Tump button. I suspect he is a fan. 

 

Made scrambled eggs tacos for breakfast.  Now out of eggs and almost out of bread. Made grocery list for Michael, although it makes me nervous that he’ll be shopping. Gets scarier and scarier as the snake creeps closer.  

 

Willie showed me a picture of Richard, his face all bashed up from falling down stairs while carrying fire wood in Connecticut. Talked to him and he said he was ok but he looked horrible. It’s like the vagina joke. 

 

Talked to Jill on the phone for over an hour, which was great. Everyone there is ok Jill describes her book, which is amazing work, using her DNA and ancestry.com to drill down into her oral history. So clever.

 

Brought on pizza for dinner from Baba Louis and watched Crossing Delancey. Charming.

 

Monday April 6

Trying to figure out a way to get groceries that isn’t terrifying. Checked all the local supermarkets for pick-up time slots but none are available.  

 

Beautiful day and I spent most of it working up lists of Columbia County food pantries, restaurants, and grocery stores with info on how each is dealing with the virus. I'm creating a new blog "Food in the Time of Corona".  I'll set up the lists a promote them on various FB pages and local websits 

 

Angela called in the afternoon. She’s a case manager for a hospital in Princeton, and said this was the worst experience she’d ever had. Five deaths this week, with younger healthy people among them. “You can’t predict it.” She said. 

 

This time is changing us, but not sure how.

 

Made Greek meatballs with Willie. Substituted mayonnaise for eggs as a binder, which worked out fine. Too late to watch a Brando movie.

 

Tuesday April 7

Bad sleep night with full moon and twitchy legs. Michael and I up at 7:30 to go grocery shopping, hoping that the other seniors have left after their designated hour from six to seven and that the youngsters haven’t arrived yet. Michael did the shopping while I waited in the car, talking to him periodically on the phone if an item on my list needed clarifying. He wore a white Bandana around his long white beard and looked like an old western train robber. Slightly anxious when he told me that a lot of shoppers were inside. 

 

Home to left over Greek meatballs. 

 

Talked to Lee and Tom, who are using the quarantine enthusiastically, of course. They hosted a Zoom cocktail party with friends, went hiking, are writing their memoirs. 

 

Was exhausted all day, took a nap, and didn’t work on the lists. 

 

Guided Willie through acorn squash stuffed with sausage, ham, and pears. Pretty good. Willie doesn’t like mashed textures. 

 

Watched the first in the Seven-up documentary series, which has traced several English people every seven years since 1964.  We decided to watch it every night.

 

Wednesday April 8

These quarantine hours are so similar that this diary, although boring, is useful for remembering what day of the week it is.  The virus may have plateaued in New York but the underlying worry only increases. 

 

Spent much of the day doing my food availability lists and emailed Claire Ackerman, who's developing resources around the corona virus for the Columbia County Democratic Committee.  She told me she doesn't need my lists, although I don't know why she can't use links to compiled and updated lists of food pantries, restaurants, and grocery stories in the county.  I'm doing them anyway and I'll just promote them on my own.

 

Willie and I did some gaming this afternoon. 

 

Liz called and we talked about meeting up at Taconic State Park soon. I’m getting weird about seeing people. 

 

We made faux paella tonight. No soccarat but tasted pretty good. 

 

Watched more 7up. The subjects are now 21 and you can get some ideas of how they’re maturing. 

 

Super moon tonight. Ugh. More twitching legs

 

Thursday April 9

The super moon, Easter week, the corona virus, my upcoming scan and birthday, and Diana decided that it's ok to flop on my legs now that Killick is gone.  Everything converges to keep me awake tonight.

 

Wrote an Easter sonnet in the middle of the night that depressed Willie when he read it.

 

Happening Now

Rage coats the earth and leaves no open space

For light. Within the racketing of crowds, 

We suffocate and barely leave a trace

Of breath. Will silence be the final shroud?

 

We also mute our pain, suppress the rough

Deep edges of our flesh, or sensing loss

Those feelings that are angular or tough

We drug or pound  into amorphous dross. 

 

And even lust, that faithful sin, is lost

Within a gust of peevish aimless thought 

That rattles this poor human drive to dust,

And in exchange, what happiness is bought?

 

Bleak times like this will end. And when we're free,

We'll sing old songs and swim the wine-dark sea.

 

 

 Had a mild sloppy altercation with Claire about the redundant lists were both making. I finally wrote that I was going ahead and developing these food lists and posting them on the blog platform because I wanted to, that the process was distracting and pleasant. She was certainly free to link to any of the information from the CCDC website. So I sent her the food pantry list, the first one done, and then published it on Facebook. I then worked on the Hudson restaurant list. Doing these lists makes me feel at least somewhat connected to the social and economic harm from the virus. Food pantry and soup kitchen needs are going up. Talked to Darcy today: 58 lunches and 85 bags for the homeless.  When I was cooking there, 30 lunches were a lot. The other pantries are also seeing an increase. Most of the restaurants are closed and soliciting money on Facebook to help their staff.  Some are doing take out, with only a few set up for every night and most only once or twice a week.  I miss going out.  Restaurants are little oases, elevated homes of warm light and better food than you can cook, surrounded by chatty diners who feel the same way. Each closure is a loss, 

 

Michael picked up food tonight from the Thai restaurant and I worried about his exposure. We scrubbed our hands after taking the food out of the bags.  As time goes by the fear of the virus itself only intensifies.

 

Good Friday April 10

Unleashed by this quarantine, Michael is letting his beard grow untrained. I like beards, but his is getting too long and lends him an unpleasant archaic authority, like a Mormon or an Old Testament prophet who wields sticks and speaks sternly. Usually, Michael’s beard transforms him into Gandolf or Dumbledore, a kind wizard, I’m going to ask him to trim it.

 

Worked on the restaurant list.  The ones still serving food, even if on the curb, are little lights in the dark. Got an email from Sarah Sterling, who is on the County Board of Supervisors, complaining about her own skirmish with Clair. Sarah is supposed to be contributing information to the CCDC from the County Government on how they are handling the virus.  She recommended that Claire simply link to important information on the County government site from the CCDC website rather than republishing text that would require updating.  Claire gave a weirdly righteous response opposing Sarah's practical suggestion.  I don’t even understand Claire's position, which seems excessive and control freakish. Clair is a pale earnest young woman. She's super smart— as she talks and frowns you can see her mind whittling away. No idea what her life is outside the committee except that she occasionally talks about her “medical problems” that keeps her jobless and self quarantining for too many years.

 

Dave and Janet called to check in, commenting on the sameness of time and forgetting what day it is. 

 

Watched Bishop Baron’s Good Friday service - the only day without a mass. For me, the mass seems critical for a full Catholic experience. So today, of all days, is like a play without a denouement.  I’m resigned to an atavistic child’s romance with Jesus' life and death. Resurrection is spring. I will always be a pantheist.

 

Willie and I made lasagna, which was a little too bland, but like any lasagna very satisfying to create. Watched Better Call Saul with Michael. Willie off the screen until Easter. 

March 28-April 3 Buying Food During Quarantine

 

Saturday March 28

Diana has become a much calmer lap cat since Killick passed. Well, maybe not much calmer but seems to be less kneading, twitching, ass-in-the-air, nipping. 

 

Spent all morning on the phone. Pan Kline, a fellow Democrat and all around good guy, has found a willing volunteer who will deliver good to seniors and people vulnerable to the virus. Wants me to help, so I developed a list of local grocery stories and how they are accommodating their employees and customers during the corona crisis.  

 

Got my Cuomo press-briefing fix in.  He has nothing but bad news but watching him every day seem to offer some control.

 

Went to Jill Wishon’s BBQ place to pick up dinner. They are set up exactly for this situation, pick-up orders, easy transactional payment system, and lots of space.  They had a really busy day.  Terrible time for dine-in restaurants.

 

We watched the Competition (awkward Richard Dreyfus, cute Amy Irving). I liked it better than Willie or Michael did, who now hates Richard Dreyfus more than he does Tom Hanks or Michael Fox).

 

Sunday March 29

Woke up in the middle of the night with what I thought was a brilliant idea for getting healthy young kids work by picking up and delivering food to people who are quarantining. The idea was a two-tiered program. 

 

The first tier were people without cars or money who are housebound. The Volunteer shoppers would drive to the Customers house, get a credit card and list from them, go to the supermarket and talk to them on the phone while their picking out the food, in case items are missing, there are alternatives, or even better deals.  

 

In tier 2, the customers have money and cars but are still vulnerable and quarantined (like me). These people would meet the shoppers at the store, and put their credit card, the list, plus a fee for the shopper in an envelope, leaving it on the hood of the car for the shopper to pick up.  No touching!  As in tier 1, the shopper and the customer would be on the phone together. Then the shopper would bring the bags out to the car and put them in the trunk, with the credit card in one of the bags.

 

So I thought this was brilliant three-in-the morning idea, but I found out later there actually is a service: Instacart, where you can order your food on-line at contributing markets and set up a time for somebody to deliver it. This would take care of tier 2 people.  It looks fast and easy, although I understand that the Instacart workers are on strike because of the failure of the company to provide them with safe equipment. 

 

As for tier 1 no volunteers actually want to go into a store and shop for anybody. Anyway the only person I know who would qualify for tier 1 is Faye, so I called her and it turns out she has a few good respirator masks from the last time she worked in a factory and a friend who drives her to the grocery store.  Faye takes very good care of herself. We talked about sewing masks, and I went online to see if I can find a pattern. I’d have to hand sew them and given my limited dexterity, they would probably be more likely to suck the virus in. 

 

Willie's friend Havisof may have the coronavirus. He called Willy from his car going home from the grocery store He has a fairly significant symptoms and he’s so out of it that he drove through a red light. I’m sure he was a jerk about exposing himself as he's doing now.

 

Willie is Face Timing about Dante's Inferno right now using with the Romanian French professor. He has dreaded this conversation but we’ll see how it goes. At least he's talking to a girl. 

 

Got an email from Zoe. Until till a few months ago her son Luke was the most perfect angelic creature in the universe, and then he turned 13. Now Zoe, Luke, and the luckless fiancé are entombed together in a Brooklyn apartment, where Mom and son are engaged in a death struggle over whether Luke can use ear buds. Zoe believes they might cause brain cancer and so emailed me for my thoughts. I told her there wasn’t any good evidence that they were harmful, and in fact it’s almost impossible to study the physical effects of electromagnetic frequencies because of all the variables. It's like studying blueberries or red wine. I advised her to let him wear them during this period. I didn't say, but should have, that the very questionable risk is probably non existent during what we hope will be a short period, and if she holds on to her principles, her son's testosterone dogs will let loose and only bones will be left in the apartment at the end of quarantine.  

 

I supervised Willie in the creation of our dinner: steak, farro, and green beans. Great success. 

 

In keeping with our Sunday streaming category, we watched 2 Fast and 2 Furious.  At the end we argued at bit over whether it was worth keeping on with the franchise. Michael believes it’s just too stupid.  But Willie and I think we have made a commitment to it

 

Monday March 30

Stupid day watching virus news. Took a brief walk with Michael to pick up mail. Many chittering and chirping birds making cheerful noises against this dank day

 

Harris called. He and Neville are going to rescue Zoe (who is having a “breakdown”), Luke, and the fiancé and drive them up to Kingston from their apartment in Kingston. Harris is 80 years old, Neville is 70, and a third of the cases up here are brought by people in the city coming to their second home. This is so irresponsible of Zoe it makes me crazy. 

 

Nice time cooking with Willie again. Chicken sausage, red peppers, onions, and Jill's smoked cabbage on top of polenta.

 

Watched On the Waterfront, which may be the best movie ever. Flawless.

 

Tuesday March 31

Trying to get help the Salvation Army even though I can't cook.  Talked to Faye to see if she’s ok.  She is of course. She’s also home for the duration.  Talked to Darcy. who is fine with me trying to raise money. So I'm writing a press release, which I’ll post on Imby and FB and try to get the Register Star to publish.  Here it is:

 

Up until about a month ago I was one of the happy cooks for the Hudson Salvation Army Service Center, the only soup kitchen in Columbia County that serves lunches five days a week.  It also provides a food pantry three days a week. Once Covid-19 slammed New York, being in a high-risk group I had to self-quarantine, a loss only to myself.

 

The good news: lunches continue nicely without me cooked by excellent unemployed chefs from Hudson's high-end restaurant. The meals are boxed up and distributed individually outside. On pantry days, three long tables are set up with bags on each containing meat, produce, or dry goods. Anyone can take one bag from each table. 

 

The bad news: until a month ago, generous local supermarkets and farms donated enough food, with a stockpile supplemented by the Regional Food Bank, to provide for the Center's lunches, the pantry, and often extra for other local pantries. 

 

Now, everything has changed. Within a week of the virus striking New York, the number of lunches increased from an average of 30 to 60 a day and its pantry visitors from about 45 to 55. Furthermore, as viral cases and unemployment increase, so will these numbers. 

 

The Center is already in trouble, with insufficient meat and dry goods on some days. Mothers are coming in asking for diapers and formula, which the Center doesn't ordinarily carry. Social Service employees are working at home and have called the Center for help, particularly to deliver food to the motels that house the homeless. Unfortunately the Center doesn't have the capacity to do this. 

 

So what can people do? First, the Center could always use donations of dry goods (pasta, soups, sauces, non perishables). One can drop off bags in front of the Salvation Army Service Center at 40 South 3^rd Street, Hudson Monday-Friday between 8:00 and 1:00.  

 

Second, and more important, the Center needs emergency money for food when it runs out, for gas for the van, and for the diapers, formulas, and other non-food items that people now need. The Center Director would also like to give out gift cards at the pantry for milk, which is too heavy to carry.

 

Watched Speed Levitch's documentary from 1997, when he was a tour bus guide in Manhattan.  The twin towers were alive and he was young, eccentric and brilliant about the city’s history and architecture. We then watched a documentary about him in 2012. Fame had not been kind.  He had gotten chubby and scruffy, and his mystical communion with buildings and bridges and plants had degenerated into shtick.

 

Wednesday April 1

Off to St Peters for blood work and a visit with the nurse practitioner before my infusion on Friday. I'm paranoid in the hospital. Sanitizers are scattered everywhere, I used them on my hands and the handle of my faithful cane four times. One of the nurses is pregnant and nervous, and the others are just nervous but they all come in.  

 

Spent the afternoon doing the write up for the Salvation, a long piece for Imby, but the Salvation Army managers wanted to turn it into a public service ad for the Register Star, not an article, so I tried to make a short and punch version for them, which I sent to Darcy. 

 

Cooked leftovers and watched Fifth Element. Major silly. 

 

Thursday April 2

 Feeling ok except for the underlying stream of anxiety and the push back from my hips when I stand up. Worked again on the Salvation Army post for Imby. Darcy is waiting for approval of the version I wrote as an ad.  She said they served 65 lunches yesterday and ran out of food, the Diva Chef from Swoon wont clean up. 

 

Carol Smith had emailed and asked if I could research and find any information on the uncle of a friend of hers, with the odd name of Sina Baum. But he never married and he committed suicide when he was 40.  Carol's friend wanted to know about his military record in World War to but couldn't find it on line. I became mildly obsessed with Sina I found his draft card, high school, college and medical school yearbooks. He was very handsome, and a joiner.  He was in every club in school, theater, music, athletics, academic. In college at Hopkins he was a major jock, and in Medical School at NYU he was in some musical parody.  He went into service as a surgeon in the medical Corp, but I couldn't find anything about his military record. And he seemed to disappear after the War.  No record of him in practice.  Only a residential listing in New Jersey, suggesting he was living with a parent.  Carol told me later he became an alcoholic. He may have been gay.  

 

I had a long Democrat Executive Committee via Zoom. I managed to convince the Executive Committee not to send the Healthcare Issues report to the full committee.  Got support from a couple of other members. I volunteered to work with Sarah Sterling to update the committee on county efforts on the coronavirus. Am also working with Pam on food issues. 

 

I made pasta and tomato sauce at ten. 

 

Friday April 3

Off to infusion. The nurses seem pretty calm although anxious about Gena, the one who is pregnant.  No one is wearing a mask unless they are administering the infusions. Visitors are no longer allowed, however, so Michael had to wait in the car. Other than that it was just a normal immunotherapy. 

 

Didn't get back home till four. 

 

I posted the Salvation Army pitch on Imby. 

 

I wrote this the next day and couldn't remember what we watched for a long time. It was mystery night and I finally remembered that it was The Fugitive. These days have no emotion content to them. They just pass by even though we try to structure them with punctuation, like the streaming categories and meals. But by and large the days foundation rests watching Cuomo's press briefings on the coronavirus and obsessing on food that I need to buy and meals I want to cook.

 

I used Instacart today, an online app used to order groceries and have them delivered. Shoprite uses is it.  You set up a timeslot for delivery and then select your groceries.  They were scheduled for 6:30 PM, but emails kept coming in changing the delivery time and getting later and later until they gave me a peremptory email telling me I had to reschedule instead of just slotting me in on Saturday morning.  So I checked the time slots and there were no more available in the foreseeable future. Goodbye Instacart. We’re going to have to do our own grocery shopping which makes me a little nervous. 

 

Willie and I made a savory bread pudding, which he didn’t like and I did. 

 

March 21-27. Email to Ann and Coffee War

Saturday March 21

First day of spring. People all over the world are shuttered inside Ann Frank's attic fearing the sudden and random invasion of hurt. 

 

I’m trying to enjoy Diana as lap replacement to Killick, but she is a continual kneader, and when she's not doing the creepy tread on me, she sits there, ass up in the air, twitching anxiously, and grasping my thigh with her claws. Sometimes she pretends to sleep but the minute I move a bit she leaps up. Occasionally she’ll nip me- not in a mean way, just because she’s so ADHD that she can’t tolerate any stimulus. She’ll never be Killick. I miss him but I sleep better without him lying on my legs until they cramp up.

 

Jeremy reported in. Watched one of his old movies and is organizing his photographs. Better than yesterday when he was just staring at the walls.

Willie zoomed his old friends Lucan and Raoul in Scotland and LA respectively. I stuck my face into the camera to say hello. Great to see them again even if virtually. 

 

Took a walk with Michael down to the pond where we stared at green stuff that I thought were frog eggs and he thought was algae. I'm hoping for eggs.

 

Edited my diary all afternoon and gussied up defrosted chili with cabbage and tomatoes for some weird stew that the guys liked ok. 

 

Unsuccessful video at night. I ended up watching Chopped and Maisel by myself. 

This experience may go on for months. It will be especially difficult for people who are alone, particularly in the city. Thank god for the Internet, 

 

Hardly thinking about the cancer at all. The virus dominates my actions. Suggested to our friends that when we get a good day that we meet up at a park, Richard, Stuart and Liz responded enthusiastically. Ann didn’t at all. Of course I can barely walk, but that means it’s easier for me to distance myself.

 

Willie has his old media ear effusion, which he hasn’t had in years. Hope we can deal with it at home. 

 

Sunday March 22

Sunny but cold. Figuring out food for the week. I’m glad I have so much dried beans and grains in the pantry. Makes it easier. 

 

Ginny called and gave an update on how the convent is handling its homeless guys who ordinarily stay at their center during the day— now, four at a time can come in for food and they can stay for only fifteen minutes.  Ginny asked them if they had other places to stay and each said they did. But who knows? At least this is virus is hitting at the beginning of spring and not winter. 

 

Talked to my friend Leslie from WebMD who of course is also at home and loves it. She said she’s so glad to be out of the office, which is now totally open space and distracting. She described it as toxic. Amy, my former colleague friend, and her husband Peter have coronavirus. I hope she hasn’t visited her daughter Rachel recently, who grew up with a lethal genetic liver disease and was cured a few years ago with a liver transplant. She subsequently was married and now has an adorable kid.  I'm sure Amy would be careful, although she's one of the most chaotic friends I've ever had.

 

Walked to our dead garden, with many dried up broccoli and Brussels sprout stalks still standing at attention like old veterans. I was pleased to be able to pull them out of the ground without much effort, which means I can clean the garden in preparation for planting. 

 

I walked down to the road and encountered our neighbors Ken and Anna. We had a brief stroll together, 6 feet apart, and I was very pleased to see other people.  

 

Watched Bishop Barron's mass with Willie. It was soothing and homilies are always wise. He seems so honest on his faith. I hope he’s not keeping some dreadful secret.

 

Will talked to Gabby, a Romanian French professor who his peculiar friend Nick had wanted to set him up with. Willie says she has a high voice, a heavy accent, and a lisp, which makes her difficult to understand. She also giggles nervously. “She's very insecure.“ They have decided to set up a regular meeting on Face time, discussing Dante's Inferno.  Willie feels very sorry for her and doesn't want this relationship to go any deeper.  He's worried she might interpret these discussion as leading to a romantic situation. I think it’s good that he’s doing this. It won’t change his feelings for Samantha but anything that distracts him and gets him back into the world, even this modest step, should be helpful.

 

Sautéed ham steaks with an apple butter, maple syrup, and cider vinegar sauce, plus mashed potato pancakes, and roasted Brussels sprouts. My cooking has gotten better with the quarantine. 

 

Watched the first Fast and Furious. Willie and I decided to make the franchise a Sunday event. 

 

Monday March 23

Snowing outside. So much for my garden plan. Spending excessive amounts of time on Facebook but it’s interesting to see what my family and friends are posting. Most of the posts are about dealing with restricted living— many hiking pictures and lots of cooking and bread baking!  What Facebook is most significant for, however, is revealing the global extent of the virus, with videos that are funny, moving or both, posted in Italy, Spain, China, Japan, Australia. Not only are we all in it together, but also we're putting it together on social media and making the universality real.  

 

More snow. No snow since December and now this. Beautiful though. Watching it and listening to Beethoven's Emperor Concerto, one of the soundtracks for foolish and exhilarating moment in my past.  Willie reported that Dante had consigned sinners overcome by lust to the second circle of hell where they experienced a pretty modest torture of being blown back and forth by strong winds. I'll take it.  (The first circle is purgatory, basically for most people). The ninth circle is reserved for traitors, con artists, and fraudsters who are all buried in ice. I think I’m ok on that one.

 

Made green chili beef tacos for dinner, which were pretty good. Watched a Maisel.  

 

Tuesday March 24

Did an incredibly stupid thing today. An email rookie thing. I had emailed Richard-ex for advice on how Ann could sell the trains that Ted had left with Eamon. Richard responded and gave some good advice, which I forwarded on to Ann forgetting that I also included my original email to him below it, which read:

 

“Oh I think I asked you this already but do you know the best way Anne and Eamon could sell Ted's train collection? Ted is off on a four-month cruise (!!!!) and before he left he turned his house and everything in it over to Eamon.  Needless to say it has put Anne into major anxiety attack and her son Eamon (AKA maxi-Ted) is not doing anything to move it along.  Although taller than Ted, Eamon has not only inherited some of his grandfather money and his father's house, but also Ted's sullenness and an inability to work at anything because he doesn't have to.” 

 

So after fretting, I called Ann and found out that she hadn’t read it yet.  So I paraphrased what I said and told her that I totally understood if she was furious with me and didn’t want to be my friend anymore. She was quite calm in her response, saying that I don’t really know Eamon. He’s really very shy. And I said (hopeful that this would let me off the hook), ”Well, that’s true I didn’t really know him. But I hadn’t liked the way he didn't supported you during your cancer, and when I saw him I did think he was sullen.” I added that if I had seen an email attacking my kids I’d be incredibly angry. Weirdly she seemed to take all this without any strong negative response at all, in fact without any apparent interest.  So we changed the subject to the quarantine and that she’s applying for a volunteer position to help people with mental health problems during this crisis. We talked about going shopping and about an irritating doctor appointment she had. It was very cordial. In fact, maybe a more cheerful conversation than we’ve had in weeks. However she actually hasn’t read the email yet and when I pasted it above and reread it, I realize it was much harsher than my paraphrasing. I'll deserve it if she wants to break with me. What a stupid thing for me to do. As many of my friends and family have experienced, I have some significant failings in the shooting-your-mouth-off behavior. Hope these strange times will encourage her to forgive me. 

 

Now I’m taking my walk. The snow is gone pretty much but it’s still a creepy day.

 

Wednesday March 25

 

Got up at six this morning (argh) to join the duffers at Hannaford. Felt mildly paranoid. Not too crowded but I didn’t get there till 6:45 and checked out at 7:30, which seems to be the best time to get there. The duffers have gone and the youngsters haven’t shown up. The shelves are also being restocked, although, in addition to toilet paper, Kleenex, and paper towels, laundry and dish detergent, flour, and pasta were missing. 

 

During my morning call from Jeremy, I asked him about safety procedures in his Oregon supermarket. All the checkout people wear gloves. The state has waived the plastic bag law, and customers aren’t allowed to bring their own bags. Yellow painted circles at six-foot intervals behind the checkout counters mark where people can wait in line. His store also limits the number of people who can be inside at one time, with a queue managed by one of the employees. None of these procedures exist at Hannaford, where I shop. No one wears gloves, and I brought my own bags, which the gloveless checkout clerk (who was actually the manager) filled himself. I asked if he wanted me to do it and he cheerfully said he’d pack.  There were marked intervals on the floor and no limit to the number of people who could be in the store.  Everyone was cheerful and pleasant, which only increased my anxiety and fear for them and me.

 

Talked to Faye. She’s not cooking anymore either, which is good. She is having apartment problems. Her stove caught on fire a couple months ago and her landlord, who has been responsive when things go wrong and kept her rent low and affordable, told her to go to Lowe's and pick out a new one, which she did.  Then he disappeared. He didn't answer her emails and hasn't cashed her rent checks. Faye finally talked to the wife and learned they were getting a divorce, and that ownership of the house is up in the air.  The husband seems to be a big developer in the city, and the wife hopes to get ownership of the house Faye lives in.  She said Faye would be safe at the same rent and asked her not to leave. Faye, however, is uneasy about her future there and also unhappy with the disappearance of any maintenance. The building is federal style and very on lower Warren Street. Faye's other options are low-income housing in the nearby high rise or in Greenport, where there are long waiting lists. I’m not sure she needs to move out. There’s no question of eviction, but I understand that it's hard to deal with lack of anyone to fix anything.  And there's still the broken stove.  She has gotten an electric double burner and small toaster oven, so she can cook, but it isn't clear that = her absent landlord will pay the plumber and electrician if things go wrong. I suggested that Faye call them. If they are continuing to fix her place there really is no reason for her to move.

 

I roasted a chicken for dinner. Will and I have come up with a daily list of movie categories to stream each night:

Sunday: Fast and Furious franchise

Monday: Brando movies when he was beautiful (Julius Caesar, Sayonara, On the Waterfront)

Tuesday documentaries: (The cruise with Speed Levitch, Mozart and Beethoven)

Wednesday: Sci Fi (Matrix, 12 monkeys, Fifth Element) 

Thursday: classics (Bicycle Thief, Tokyo Story, Chariots of Fire)

Friday: Mystery (The game. Copland)

Saturday:  comedies, misc. (Crossing Delancy, The Competition, Paper Chase)

 

We watched the Matrix tonight. Held up.

 

Thursday March 26

Was up all night with leg cramps slept in the bathtub three times for a total of about five hours.

 

Spent the day obsessing on the coronavirus, listening to Cuomo’s press conference and reading the news. Had a contentious email exchange with Carl Atkins and Claire Ackerman regarding a report on health issues in Columbia County without any mention of the virus. I argued we shouldn’t send it out at all to the committee until we have more information on how the virus is going to affect the health care systems in the county. But I lost. I don’t know why they want to send it out now. There's no rush and right now, but the effect of the virus is likely to change everything, not only in the county but also in the country. 

 

Took a walk with Michael. We are all a little grouchy.

 

Tonight was Classics night and we watched the Bicycle Thief, which was very noir and slow and sad. My social media and YouTube conditioned brain kept urging it to move along. Whether they were French, Italian, or American, all the highly regarded movies done in the late 1940s and early 1950s were dark and sad and slow. I first thought it was tedious after watching it but it stuck with me, and as I absorbed it I recognized how beautiful it was.

 

Haven’t heard back from Ann since she read my email. Have a feeling that Second thoughts have broken through her initial casual reaction.

 

Friday March 27

To prevent my leg cramps last night I did a major meditation, which released a lot of brain chaos, and managed to calm the mind: body down, and I got pretty good sleep.

 

Ending week two of the quarantine and Day 4 of the Drip vs. French press coffee contest—our drip coffee pot versus Willie's new French press that he had ordered and had shipped to the house. Experts pretty consistently maintain that the French press is better. To determine this or not, we have had four relatively blind taste tests over the week. Unfortunately, it's hard to achieve a consistent method.  For one, the process ends up with different heat levels, with the French Press being a little cooler, so we always know what were drinking. Will announced that he had bought an electric kettle, which will be arriving tomorrow and will automatically manage the French Press heat. Michael is currently pissed off at our drip coffee pot, because coffee spills out over the top of the carafe. As I write this he's in the kitchen cleaning and muttering. Willie and I have retreated to different rooms. Hide the BB gun!

 

Picked up Killick’s ashes today. Put him on my lap in the car while we drove back to Germantown. We lost access to our radio’s Sirius channel, which meant we were missing our continual background drone of political commentary.  Michael pulled over and tried to reach customer service, wrestled with the instructions over a bad reception from a person with both an ambiguous gender and accent. He finally restored the reception and we took off.  As we did, I felt Killick’s weight on my lap and was horribly sad.

 

In the afternoon I worked in the garden, pulling out old stalks and stakes, pleased with my capability.  I brought out my beloved Fiskar weed puller to yank out the dead grass and weeds, but it cracked and broke after two successful extractions. 

 

Virus infection rate is increasing dramatically in New York. I have been distracting myself with streaming and cooking, but I’m nervous.

 

Made tuna casserole for dinner (with yogurt, cheeses, preserved lemon). Watched The Game, one of only two movies in our Friday mystery series. It was ridiculous and silly.