Saturday January 16
Rainy morning. Nasty cold that I got from Willie (hope it’s not Covid). Did some RK work.
Wrestled with my homegrown spreadsheet for Covid vaccine distributors. Found more vaccination provider websites that don't have any shots available. And the sites are all different—counties (my own and neighboring), pharmacy chain, a couple medical centers, and the state site with its vaccine battlefields scattered about, the only one with available appointments being in Potsdam, nestled next to the Canadian border three hours away. You can’t register at one and have it linked to an others, and every time you check for a slot you have to fill out the eligibility form again for each one. And then, when you click for the appointments there aren’t any (except in Potsdam). The only site that has saved my information so far is a tiny pharmacy network that probably won't get the vaccine until next Thanksgiving. You just have to keep clicking every day hoping you hit a that five second window when an appointment has been cancelled or magically gets the vaccine. The media and the governor talk about reaching the elderly in the minority communities but there's no way that will happen with this dysfunctional online system that's hard to navigate even for people who are experienced with computers.
Roasted a beast with vegetables and made Yorkshire pudding for Geoff and Kim. Talked about our crazy country and terrible President, whose vicious behavior is only made clearer as I read Obama’s memoir. How did we go from there to here in only four years?
Watched a West Wing, anther reminder of how far we've fallen, and sneezed my way to bed.
Sunday January 17
Cold better, but I'm still stuffy. Did a Pema session in the morning and then some RK work. Saw a bit of Geoff and Kim, but they went off hiking while I dozed ok the couch upstairs, reading Obama’s Promised Land.
We ordered from a new Middle Eastern restaurant in Hudson, but I was disappointed in a bland tabouli and baba ganush. The steak harissa was worthy, however.
We watched the first three episodes of Mandelorian again with Geoff and Kim after they described a series of Japanese films they liked featuring a lone samurai assassin and his toddler son wandering about, frequently engaging in violent battles. After watching, they agreed that Mandelorian had to have been inspired by these films, which Google confirmed. They went to bed and Michael and I watched a west wing. Afterward I went back to the Obama book, my brain in a muddle of the fictional ad real past presidents and our newly elected one, all with the same centrist liberal visions and facing issues that never seem to change
Monday January 18
Slept very late today, but my cold seems to be essentially gone. Made my morning futile attempt to find a site with available vaccine appointments. Watched Cuomo‘s press conference, which didn’t hold out much promise for a shot anytime soon.
Had a cheerful talk with Patty and Dominique, who are in Florida. Dominique is winning all kinds of horse contests down in Wellington on her good horse Jack. Dominique and I were in agreement about what a great name Jack was for an animal (her horse, my cat) and she then she asked me how I would fill my day with joy. I listed stuff like taking a walk, making shepherds pie, and then realized I had already experienced it talking to her and my sister.
Jim Dolan called and as always I ended up screaming at him over his Trump goads. It never seems to hurt our relationship, because he thinks its funny. We engage in the clichéd arguments of the left and the right with neither of us listening to the other.
Long talk with Willie. He had a live date with Ingrid, the only girl he's been cheerful about since Samantha. It lasted seven hours, including a four-hour walk through Central Park. I suggested he might tell her about the Kartagener's syndrome, but he thought that would be weird since they haven’t even held hands. He's right.
Janice Brodowski and then Jim called to tell us that George Super, our committee chair had died. He had been suffering for months through multiple surgeries on the veins in his legs. He was a very decent man with a blue-collar history and passionate about old Democratic Party ideals, pro union, pro working class jobs. It put him at odds with some of the progressives here who want to keep factories out and encourage tourism. He stayed with the party to the end, but had increasingly less interest in it.
Made a Shepherd pie with good biscuits but I had no appetite after eating a bit of it. Stomach was cruddy and later I threw everything up between watching the Expanse and West Wing. Fortunately it wasn't the horrible acid and once my stomach was empty I was ok. But it threw into question whether I can tolerate more chemo. I'll keep taking the poison as long as I can because there are so many people I’m fond of and love. I even feel affection for Dolan while I’m screaming at him because he’s loyal, he makes me feel politically lazy and transient, and brought me eggplant that his sister had made.
Tuesday January 19
Our county Committee Chair Keith emailed and asked if I would write some thing on George. I called his wife Madeline who said that George had died of Covid complications, but he was very vulnerable and frail after his history of multiple leg surgeries. My brief experience with George had given me a deeper understanding of the lost Democratic values and why Trump has won over so many working glass guys. Here’s what I wrote:
George Super, the former Greenport Democratic Committee Chair, passed away on January 18 from covid-related complications. As a gifted young baseball player, he was drafted by the New York Giants but also, unfortunately, by the US Army at the same time. After serving in Korea he came back to Hudson where he worked as a truck driver and then for nearly 35 years at Universal Match, one of the many local factories that closed over the past decades. A dedicated life-long Democrat, his political views always reflected those experiences and the classic Party values that support the working class. As a result, his positions were not always in sync with current party beliefs. As Greenport Planning Board Chair, he was critical in achieving the Wal-Mart development on Fairview, and he supported the Holcim cement plant, which most of us opposed. But his motivations were clear—he promoted policies that would restore the economic life and dignity of those left behind over the years by corporate and government neglect.
My experiences with George were limited to the last few years and his work as Committee Chair, where I was struck by his consistent decency, honesty, and those basic Democrat convictions. I also observed his courage during the time I knew him in enduring without complaint extreme physical pain from multiple leg surgeries. We would do well to use his life as a testimony to those values that we, as Democrats, are in danger of losing and that we must defend while simultaneously balancing them with sound progressive ideas. I never saw him without the company of Madeline, his tough, wise wife, for whom this loss is profound.
Watched a Pema session and then an old Julie Child,
Carole sent the menu for the RK Valentine's Dinner fundraiser. It has multiple options for each course, which I don't think I can create using Eventbrite, the invitation website. It would mean that people who bought tickets for the meal would have to email their choices, which someone would have to manually track.
It's dusk and I'm feeling lousy as usual at this time. Couldn’t eat much. Watched Expanse and West Wing, then spent the rest of the night vomiting and trying not to vomit. Zofran had no effect after two doses .So I took Compazine at around four and got some sleep. Also terribly constipated, which doesn't add to intestinal delight.
Wednesday January 20
Slept late and then watched the inauguration. Wish I could be more excited but intestinal and stomach distress puts a damper on it. I called the oncology nurse for a better regimen and asked to kick back the chemo appointment.
Fiddled with Eventbrite, which may have a section for creating menu options.
Ate chicken noodle for lunch and chocolate ice cream and arugula for dinner. Actually had a tiny movement.
Wasted the afternoon going from one bad streamer to another. Reheated chili for dinner but I couldn’t eat much.
Watched Expanse and West Wing. In the middle Sarah called excited by the inauguration ceremony. I pretended enthusiasm, but it’s blunted partly by my cancer, but mostly by this bizarre combination of fictional, autobiographical, and current renditions of liberal presidents that signal the lack of progress in at least thirty years and so the likelihood that nothing will change. So wish I were more excited about Joe but I’m gloomy about the 75 million voters sucking in the baby monster's lies and whom we haven't reached all.
Thursday January 21
Slept well. No nausea or vomiting but I’m down to 139 pounds from 150 in a week. The great news of the morning is that Jeremy is getting his first shot today.
But much bad news. My nephew Jim, who ha been suffering from bipolar for years, died from heart failure, probably due to an accidental overdose. He had stopped taking his prescription drug some times ago, and was found with street drugs, possibly used for self-medication. I think for Lee it was somewhat of a relief. I also have two Peckham cousins in critical care, non covid-related.
Ann came over for lunch and I made us all tuna salad, which she was happy about, and she brought bakery treats, which I was happy about. A nice lunch, and I only made her cry once by talking about Eamon. Mostly we talked about the inauguration, cats, and the people from our past, whom we still don't like
Willie called. He is on date number 2 tonight, and was concerned about coming up this weekend, since he’s the only family member to have some exposure to the world. It’s a little worrisome but Michael was ok with it, so was I.
Watched Expanse, which just gets better, and West Wing comfort food.
Friday January 22
Had a weird happy meditative sleep-ish through the night. Appetite back today, which is definitely cheery.
I seem to have a cold in my eye, which makes it weepy and I can't read well through it. On the bright side, I had major success being able to set up menu options on Eventbrite for ticket holders, forcing them to make choices before they complete their purchase. I can create an elegant report for Jamie and Carole for planning meals. I even discovered the hidden tiny-typed instruction that let me put the ticket button on the front page.
Went to see my oncologist Dr. Luyun who has agreed to let me delay the next chemo until next Tuesday, and then set up a monthly schedule rather than every tree weeks. The chemo is intended for palliation not for a cure, so if it's going to palliate then I should feel better through it not, all nauseated and constipated
Willie is here for the whole week, which is great. Picked him up at eight.
Made lasagna for dinner. Tomato sauce tasted a little raw because I didn’t have time to cook the crushed tomatoes in it long enough to develop flavor, but it was ok and will get better over the next few days in the fridge as the bacteria get a chance at some fermentation.
Watched a Nathan Fielder and a West Wing.
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